Monologue #1: When All You Get Is One Shot

     Sometimes all we get, all we get, is one shot.You have your moment; it presents itself, and if your not ready, life passes you by. "Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero." "Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future." But I don't know too many people, so focused, so aware, waiting for that moment to saunter in, as if aligning itself, in the cross hairs of human ambition.
     Most people I know, live for second chances. We fuck up. We make mistakes. And beg for a second chance: to make things right; to make a better argument. Say, "I love you", when it needed to be heard. Shut up, when you needed to listen. Not take that fourth drink. Pass, instead of shoot. Stop, instead of go.
     And I should never have let you go. But I was young, and had no idea how special you were. Or how unlikely true love is.
     I spent years, listening for your laugh in another woman's voice. Hunching down, or straightening up, trying to find the fit in my arms that you filled so well. And waking up, with the echo of your voice. And living with you in my imagination. And of what you'd say, about this or about that.
     And laughing. Over some joke you made years ago. Maybe hoping for second chances is really not being able to move on.
     But if so, then why else do we pray? Isn't that what redemption is all about? The chance to set the record straight? To live the life we were meant to live? Is there a time limit? As finite as our time on earth? I don't know. But I've carried this torch for so long, I've gotten used to the burden. I can carry it a while longer.
     My arms aren't so tired I can't hold you. My strides aren't any heavier than they've ever been. And I'm here. Whenever you want. I'm not so broken, I can't be mended. I'm not so tired I can't get up. I need something to believe in, but hey, I'm willing to believe. I can wait. Waiting is easy. It's just a silence waiting to be filled: with song; with laughter; with the spoken word, or the sharp breath of life. Silence is just a void, waiting to be filled. And does that remind you of anyone you know?